Comments for Running For My Mom

Comment on Start Here! by Blog

Blog — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 17:06:41 +0000

Thanx man

Comment on Start Here! by KingCss

KingCss — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 07:49:55 +0000

Good post. Thanks

Comment on Start Here! by Dornbusch

Dornbusch — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 01:02:01 +0000

Hello ,

Thank you very much for this beautiful information.

Best regards,

Comment on Info About Pancreatic Cancer & Why It Sucks by Susan

Susan — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 17:54:56 +0000

It’s almost a year since my beloved Dad died of PC: Nov 1, 2008. He was a thoroughly good, wise, gentle man — yes, a true Gentleman. Orphaned young, he survived and succeeded in this difficult world, remaining devoted to his wife and family until the end. I sit here crying because I miss him. Our relationship changed over the years until he became my best friend. Diagnosed officially on August 24, he died on Nov. 1. My sister and I had suspected Dad was ill around the previous Christmas. He began to shrink away in front of our eyes; his voice became less vigorous; his steps slowed; I said to my husband that Dad was moving further and further away. My Mum had died 4 years previous and Dad was living by himself in an over-65 apartment builting, but we saw him in the neighbourhood all the time as well as getting together regularly at my house for fish and chips. At the start of August, my husband and I went for a weekend escape to Vermont… I couldn’t stop thinking about Dad. I remembered how he had begun to sit with his hand inside the belt of his trousers, pushing the belt away from his stomach. It started to worry me. He looked so thin, almost transparent! On the way back from Vermont, I dropped my husband at home, and went to get milk and bread at our local grocery store. Dad was there, as he often was, sitting in the sunshine outside the mall, watching the world go by. I drove the car up to him and said, “Dad, we must take you to the hospital tonight.” He smiled, and said, “Okay, Susie.” He must have been feeling so sick — he hadn’t wanted to bother me or my sister, but he knew it was time to find out what was wrong. We waited all night in the Emergency Dept, Dad on a stretcher and my sister and I sitting/sleeping on the floor. Eight o’clock the next morning, the Emergency Dept came to life, suddenly doctors appeared, ordered tests, and told us our Dad had pancreatic cancer, with 3-6 months to live. My sister and I cried. We cried until he died, and after. We didn’t want Dad to go. He was loving, dignified, stoic, and calm all his life, until the moment it ended. He came to live with me and my husband for 2 months. We had some wonderful days and some difficult days. The palliative care nurses were very good. As autumn arrived, he sat on the deck in the uncharacteristically warm sunshine, looking up at the airplanes taking off from Montreal Airport about 1/4 mile from my house. You see, he had helped design many of those planes: the Canadair Challenger, Bombardier Regional Jet, Airbus… On Canadian Thanksgiving, I made a big turkey dinner and my sister’s family came over… what was left of my family was all together eating around the table. Dad became very ill for the first time — he could not tolerate the smell of the food, and we knew he didn’t have much time left. He became less and less able to eat and even those thinge he could previously tolerate (a little glass of beer, for example!) had to be left behind. Some days, he would hardly eat, and I could not warm him up no matter what I tried. He shook with cold. The day he vomited unspeakable substances, I knew he had to go to Palliative Care. I thought he would choke to death in my arms. He didn’t want to go, but went bravely. I moved in too and slept on a cot next to his bed. I don’t know how, but I also taught College for 4 hours a day! They were great at the hospice — Dad even rallied and ate a cookie. All this time, he had never allowed himself to stay in bed: He’d get up with me at 7 am and go to bed at 11 pm. He dozed in his chair and told me he hoped to pass away sitting in his chair listening to his music that he loved. At the Palliative, he spent the first 6 days in his chair, watching DVDs of the old British shows and listening to music. It rained every day. The leaves fell from the trees. The Palliative doctor called me aside and said, “Your father is a dead man sitting in a chair.” The doctor had never seen the will not to give up that my Dad displayed: he was determined not to lie sick in bed. But there came a day when Dad could not get up and get dressed, even with help. He dozed and slept in bed all day. That night, I heard my Dad stop breathing. I counted to 120 and he started again. He hadn’t taken a breath in 2 minutes. Suddenly, I was terrified. I jumped up off my cot, put my coat on over my pjamas and drove home. I couldn’t take it any more. I was back again before Dad woke up, but he knew I had gone and I know he was sad about that. I said, “Dad, I haven’t been back to my own house in a week. I will stay with you all day but I have to go home at night.” He smiled and let me know it was okay. From that point on, his sleep deepened and his drugs were increased, and there were several times when the doctor counted 2 minutes or more between his breaths but, incredibly, he would rally enough to give us the “thumbs up”. Friday night, my sister and I knew death was very close. Dad hadn’t been able to eat for a week. We spent the evening writing Dad’s obituary. He passed away the following morning. I’m not young, I’m 54, but life has not been the same since Dad left. I think of him every day. God bless you, Dad. You are loved and missed. Please delete this posting if too maudlin. xoxox Hugs and peace to everyone touched by this disease. xoxox

Comment on Info About Pancreatic Cancer & Why It Sucks by daughter

daughter — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 21:50:13 +0000

My Mom died one weeek ago today from PC. I’m so lost.
She had just turned 50 in June. She was diagnosed in January and 10 months later- she’s gone. She went thru aggressive chemo and radiation.. Her treatments ended in May. She had an infection from the radiation.. But had went back to work.The last doctor’s appt we went to the tumor was SHRINKING! 20% to be exact. Nothing was spreading! We were very optimistic. Since she was having such a hard time eating (tumor pushing into her stomach) she was only 94lbs. They put her on a liquid diet until they could put a stent in her stomach to open it. She died Mon morning at 4 am. from a damaged artery in her stomach that hemorrhaged.. Damaged from the radiation, I believe. I miss her so much already. I thought I had so much more time.
If someone you know has been diagnosed.. Spend every minute you can with them!! I wish I could go back and do that.. But I thought I had so much more time.. I was so wrong.
I love you, Mom… and miss you so much.

Comment on Info About Pancreatic Cancer & Why It Sucks by Jennifer

Jennifer — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 02:59:27 +0000

Thanks Alphonso. I am going to organize a 5k in her honor and to help raise awareness of this God awful cancer. It’s all I can think of to do. It’s frustrating to have seen her go through all these different tests all Summer long and come back negative, but then finally get diagnosed when it’s too late.

Comment on Info About Pancreatic Cancer & Why It Sucks by Alphonso

Alphonso — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 02:49:21 +0000

Jennifer,

I will your pain, I have been down this road and it sucks to see your loved one suffer.

Comment on Info About Pancreatic Cancer & Why It Sucks by Jennifer

Jennifer — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 01:46:41 +0000

My Mother was diagnosed 3 weeks ago today with PC, stage IV. It is advanced into her liver, duodenum and stomach lining and she also has fluid in her lungs. She had her gallbladder out 6 months ago and after having severe pain in her abdominal area. She continued to have tests all Summer – cat scan, colonoscopy, endoscopy and bloodwork. It wasn’t until 3 weeks ago that a blood test showed her blood sugar to be at 500 and she wasn’t a diabetic. She was told to immediately go to the ER and 24 hours later she was diagnosed. The doctors did a much more in depth cat scan that showed the cancer. I have heard similar stories to my Moms. WHY aren’t bells and whistles going off in the medical community?? If someone comes to the with severe abdominal pain, why not do these detailed cat scans to look into the pancreas? Maybe my Mom could have been caught early. Instead, she is now in a nursing home and will be moved to hospice next week. She is slowly fading from our eyes. She is confused, sleeps a lot, her abdomen and ankles are swollen, and is merely existing. I don’t know if the sleeping and confusion is from the morphine or the cancer or both.
Her 79th birthday is October 27th. She and my Dad would celebrate 60 years of marriage this June. He has slept by her side for the last 21 nights. This is a horrible and painful cancer. Why is there not more being done??

Comment on Info About Pancreatic Cancer & Why It Sucks by Alphonso

Alphonso — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 08:13:18 +0000

My Dear Mother pass away of PC on Oct 3 2009. She diagnosed 4mths ago and fought long and hard with her treatments. I watched my mother size drop really fast and the pain that this horrible disease has on people. She often did not eat because of the taste. I really feel alone and by myself, but seeing others write about there own issues and pain, I know that I’m not alone. Her last week was spent in (In hospital hospice) she was unconscious during her last week and I know that she did not feel any pain when she past away. When she started treatment she really broke down to the doctor and said that she wanted to live and did not want to die. I’m really in shock sometimes and think of this as a bad dream that I’m dreaming.

Comment on Info About Pancreatic Cancer & Why It Sucks by Allison

Allison — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 01:35:29 +0000

My mom died of PC on August 26. She was diagnosed July 1st. Her last three weeks were spent in the hospital in terrible pain. She was too weak to move to hospice. I cannot believe how rapidly she declined and how the doctors could not relieve her pain, even with all the medication they had. My memories of her in the hospital haunt me- she wasn’t even herself because of the meds and, what I later read, her liver failure. She was terribly frightened, she hallucinated, would sleep all the time, cry in pain, and could not eat. I wish we had had one more day of her in a clear state of mind to say all we needed to say. One minute we were planning to take her home for hospice (they said 4-8 weeks) and the next minute we were calling up my uncle from Miami to get here to say goodbye. She died four days later. I feel like so much was stolen from me, and from her. She was only 61 and me, 27. I am still in such shock. I feel for all of you. I know the pain you’re going through. I’m so sorry we all had to go through this and I wish us all peace.